A List of Ridiculous Mystic Falls Events & Celebrations

The Vampire Diaries‘ town of Mystic Falls has some of the most ridiculous, episode-serving celebrations I’ve ever seen on TV. Which is part of why I love them so! (That and the fact that there’s only one restaurant/grill in the ENTIRE TOWN!) Let’s look at this long list of Mystic Falls events and celebrations.

Decade Dances

Who doesn't love an excuse to wear a costume?! Photo: Wiki

Mystical Falls doesn’t have just one decade dance. Oh no, they have — to our current knowledge — three. A fifties, sixties and seventies dance [which we have yet to see].

"What the heck am I going to wear to the next Decades Dance?" Photo: WIki

Of course, every Decade Dance is the backdrop for some serious life-or-death, world-hanging-in-the-balance, look-out-it’s-Klaus level shiz!

"You didn't get the memo? 60s clothes ONLY! You're so embarrassing Jeremy!" Photo: Wiki

Maybe Jeremy’s girlfriend is trying to help Noah unlock the tomb? Maybe lives are being threatened? Maybe Damon is being flirty and dancing with Elena and Bonnie?

Just hook up already! Photo: The CW

Or maybe this is happening…

Oh Caroline! Photo: The CW

Too bad her boyfriend wants her dead and junk, huh?

Photo: The CW

ELENA: Why are you guys looking suspicious and glaring?

CAROLINE: Because something bad always happens! I flipping hate Decade Dances! I’m not even going to the 70s Decade Dance!

BONNIE: SAMESIES! These parties make my nose bleed!

Night of the Comet Festival

Candles are a really important Mystic Falls celebration accessory. Photo: Fandomania

Aw, nothing like candlelight and moonlight to persuade a young impressionable girl into hooking up with a super old blood sucker named Stefan!

Sexy Suds Car Wash

I love the terrible ad for The Mentalist at the bottom of this screenshot! Photo: Wiki

The Sexy Suds Car Wash started as a way of raising funds for the athletic department. It was meant to be sweet and good, but of course kids show up in next to nothing, making it slutty. It kind of reminded me of this:

Oh Cam! Photo: CineMovie

Only not funny. Anyway, the Car Wash becomes “The Mystical Falls Bonfire Fundraiser” thanks to Bonnie and her witchy temper.

Every supernatural being needs a Carrie moment, right? Photo: Wiki

Keep that back workout up Bonnie! You look great!

Night of Illumination

WTF Lanterns? Photo: Wiki

Any celebration that involves lanterns always means that there will be:

(A) a hook-up in a restroom with a dead girlfriend

(B) A guest appearance by Jasmine Guy that doesn’t involve her saying “Dwayne Wayne!”

(C) Torture sequences

Honestly, there were so many freaking ghosts –or as I like to call them, guest appearances — that my head was spinning. Typical Mystic Falls celebration insanity, right? And don’t even get me started on the crazy decorations:

That sucks bro... Photo: TV Recappers Anonymous

Lanterns and mutilated corpses? Just ew! At least we got a great shot of Damon being Damon:

Drool... Photo: TV Recappers Anonymous

Suddenly, the Night of Illumination seems worth it.

Miss Mystic Falls Pageant

Line dancing at a beauty pageant? WTF? Photo: The CW

I love an annual founding families beauty pageant. Especially when your boyfriend is too busy doing this to escort you down the stairs:

"I'M HUNGRY!" Photo: The CW

Talk about awkward.

Photo: The CW

ELENA: I’m freaking out! I’m going to have to dance with Damon!

CAROLINE: Girl, please! I’ll do it for you!

Founder’s Day

Aw, aren't floats romantic? Photo: WIki

This one has several subcategories of ridiculous events, which include, but I’m sure the writers will tell me are not limited to:

– Founder’s Day Fundraiser and Bachelor Raffle

– Founder’s Day Kick-Off Party

– Founder’s Day Party and Heritage Display

This is the most detailed float of my life! Photo: WIki

Honestly, VD, I get that the Founders are a big part of history and drama in Mystic Falls, but how many freaking Founder’s Day Events can we have that always happen to occur simultaneously with end-of-days scenarios?

Carnival

Aw! A carnival! Photo: Wiki

Oh I love carnivals on teen shows! Do you know what I think of when someone says “Carnival?”

"I'M HUNGRY!" Photo: The CW

Um…not that. Sorry Carter.

Halloween Party

Wow. Photo: Wiki

This event was worth it just for that costume. Seriously, who cares about Vicki getting staked or any of that junk. It’s all about Bonnie’s ironic Halloween costume. Also, Caroline is supposed to be a witch, but with that tilted hat she looks like slutty Capt. Jack Sparrow.

Masquerade Ball

Katherine, you evil wench. Photo: Wiki

Katherine shows up, kills some people, strangles Caroline, tries to throw herself at Stefan. You know, the usual. But she’s wearing a mask so it makes it WAY more interesting! Thank heavens there was a Masquerade Ball for all this! This also happens:

Oh...Photo: Wiki

Bonnie and Jeremy flirt. FYI girl, don’t waste your time. He’s totally going to cheat on you with a dead girl in a bathroom on the Night of Illumination. If I may be puny — and I will — the mask will come OFF that night! Oh! See what I did there? Fine! Don’t laugh. Whatever.

Look, the truth is there are a bajillion more Mystic Falls events, but I’m too exhausted to even get through them all. I mean just look at what you’re missing:

Mystic Falls Historical Society Volunteer Day [more Founders things]

Senior Prank Night

Gone With the Wind Screening [more costumes]

Historical Society Tea [more historical things, meaning flashbacks]

Career Night [WTF?! Supernatural beings don’t need careers]

Back to School Dance

Party at the Grill [And we all know which Grill it is as there is only one]

And I’m probably even missing things like house parties. Seriously writers: STOP WITH ALL THE EVENTS! HOW MANY MORE CAN YOU MAKE? Answer: many more. Homecoming is coming up this season. And we have a 70s dance. I wonder if they’ll just start inventing parties for days of the week or books they’re reading in class like “Tuesday Night Barbeque” or “Catcher in the Rye Debate.”

Did you know Mystic Falls had this many events and parties? Which do you think is the most ridiculous? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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2 Comments

Filed under Let's Ponder

2 responses to “A List of Ridiculous Mystic Falls Events & Celebrations

  1. Lisandra Froncillo

    found your blog on bing and was just what i was looking for, keep it up 🙂

  2. I just don’t get these small towns on these CW shows. I live in a small town and there are not nearly as many quirky events as these shows imagine. (Except for the massive flooding that happens once every decade… but we don’t advertise that.)

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