What The Heck Are They Wearing?!

Last night things on Make It or Break It and Gossip Girl heated up faster than Dan Humphrey on a hot summer’s day in his lumberjack flannel shirts!

Gossip Girl was all about Blair. Three guys to chose and only 4 episodes to do it! GG‘s executive producer said that the relationships Blair has now feel “organic.” I disagree — Blair belongs with Chuck, maybe I could accept this weird (slow moving) Dair thing, but who is this prince?! Why does Vanessa still exist? Whatever, this is GG. Does it ever make sense? We all know this show has become an awful shell of its former self.  The only line I really enjoyed was “Dan Humphrey more labrador than toad.” Thanks Dorota.

But alas there was a gift given to us from none other than Chuck Bass:

Can you spot the fashion faux pas? Photo: You Know You Love Me

CHUCK BASS, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING?! Is that a brooch? Like a lady’s brooch? On your all black Draco Malfoy suit?

"Yes I'm wearing an old lady's brooch...to win back Blair!" Photo: You Know You Love Me

Oh no Chuck, it is a lady’s gold and pink brooch! Are you auditioning for a roll in a period piece or in Harry Potter as Malfoy’s dark-haired sexy badass friend? News-flash Chuck — Harry Potter finished filming! Maybe you missed the memo while plotting evil and oozing sex? And I haven’t seen a brooch like that in a movie since Margaret in Ever After! I know you miss your lady Chuck, but don’t wear her wardrobe!

Blair’s weird outfit for making “the choice” was no better.

Mixing patterns can be fun, but Waldorf, you've crossed the line. Photo: You Know You Love Me

BLAIR WALDORF WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING?! It looks like Vanessa spilled hipster red fruit punch all over you blouse and you thought, “I know! I’ll just put on a hideously embroidered Oscar De La Renta jacket to hide it! Oo! And I’ll match my shoes to the spilled punch!”

Sorry for the Vanessa, but it was the only way to get the full view. Photo: You Know You Love Me

Blair, I expected a far better tour-de-force dress from you. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, but don’t start dressing like a loser just because you made out with one.

Make It Or Break It was intense last night– The rock girls couldn’t beat the lame ducks at Pinewood; Kaylie confessed her problems and grew closer to Damon; Emily was whiny and suspicious and bad at gymnastics (and maybe preggers in next week’s promo?); Payson told Darby that she’s a joke and nearly killed herself; and Lauren attempted to seduce Max. Unlike GG, there was great dialogue like– Max: “I think Payson’s a nice girl, don’t you?” Lauren:”Yeah, sure. I also think she’s a lesbian.”

Lauren also thought this would help seduce Max…

Really Lauren? Photo: ABC Family

LAUREN TANNER WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING?! Is that a naughty schoolgirl costume?! With a lace up blouse and hideous pink plaid skirt?

Not better at this angle... Photo: ABC Family

It is! Is the shirt made of pleather?! Thank God you put underwear on for seduction instead because this outfit was worse than any ugly leotard you’ve ever worn! And you’ve worn some terrible leotards!

Honorable mention goes to Kaylie Cruz for her hideous funeral attire.

Kaylie, she wouldn't want you to dress like this while mourning. Photo: ABC Family

Not a “WTH Are You Wearing?!” but certainly a KAYLIE CRUZ, STEP UP YOUR SWAG! I know you’re sad and all, but this isn’t a real funeral –it’s a television funeral! You can do better than this! Do you think the girls of Pretty Little Liars let a little death topple their chic? NO! They looked fierce at Alison’s funeral:

This is how you dress for a funeral on a television show for girls 18-34. Photo: ABC Family

So, STEP IT UP KAYLIE CRUZ! And to add insult to injury, this a funeral is for a model. A MODEL! What would she say about that bland little black dress?

What did you think of last night’s shows? Did you think the wardrobe choices were super chic or super eek? Tell me in the comments!


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Filed under Ew Vanessa Abrams, WTH Are They Wearing?!

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