When Bad Leotards Happen to Good Gymnasts

There’s no doubt about it — the talented Rock girls know how to wow on the mat. Sadly, we can’t always say the same about their wardrobe choices. After all they all wore ugly mismatched leg warmers this past week! Sometimes bad leotards happen to good gymnasts. Here are some of the worst Make It or Break It leos we’ve had the pleasurable misfortune of viewing:

More than bad leos, there's also some epically bad hair and make-up. Photo: ABC Family

The Rock Girls may have scoffed at being called, “a cesspool of controversy,” during last week’s episode, but they’ve been embracing their image as “The Rock Rebels” for some time. Way back in the episode “Friends Close, Enemies Closer,” they posed for a magazine photo shoot to show off their bad girl gymnast look. Sadly, they look more dominatrix meets bad 80’s hair-band than rebellious. Thanks ladies for showing us what Jem what have looked like in real life!

Smile while you can! You may be gold, but you're dressed like bronze! Photo: ABC Family

Don’t “Boris” & the girls look dazzling in this promo for “At the Edge of Worlds”? I think so. But all that glitters isn’t gold. Sometimes it’s weird pink fire that’s burning across your chest and arms like a rash. Or maybe it’s an odd aqua/blue with sheer sleeves that makes you look like an extra in Avatar. Sometimes it’s a black leotard that would have been Ok, except for the fact that the change in fabric and contours of your body make your boobs look like they’re illuminated. And sometimes it’s a rejected costume from the new Green Lantern film.

"You know, I thought Emily's leo was hideous, but Lauren you look like a pumpkin." Photo: ABC Family

First, Emily, your leotard is sad. It makes you look saggy and you’re not. I want you to focus on picking leotards that make your breasts look awesome from now on. Second, why do they insist on putting Lauren in orange? She already has a mystic tan and intense eye make-up. Combined with the orange leotards, we get this:

Oh no... Photo: ABC Family

Yes, someone call Charlie Brown. We’ve found the great pumpkin. It’s worse when they add black to the orange because then it’s not fall festival pumpkin, it becomes:

"Get me out of this hideous leotard!" Photo: ABC Family

Well, it becomes jack-o-lantern chic. Sometimes they put little swirls on it to make it seem fun…

Swirls? Photo: ABC Family

Instead, it just looks stupid and orange like the cast of  Jersey Shore. Sigh. Lauren is the sexy one, so why are they dressing her like the Wiccan one?

They've caught a glimpse of themselves in the mirror. Nice to see they have a sense of humor about it. Photo: ABC Family

In “A Rock and a Hard Place” the girls face The Denver Elite who prove to be anything but elite. It’s amazing Kaylie, Emily, Lauren and Payson did so well considering how fugs their warm-ups and leotards were. I mean come on, purple and red?! Really?! It only gets worse when the warm-up gear comes off.

"We look like we're going to the 1984 Olympics." Photo: Just Jared

Kaylie’s scrunchie really helps ground me in the theme of Fugs 80’s Olympians who sometimes Rhythm Dance. I can see why The Denver Elite were making fun of them. Not that they have room to talk…

Being bad gymnasts and looking funny is no way to go through life ladies. Photo: Just Jared

Why do you have bedazzled solar systems on your chests? Why do your sleeves look like snake skin? And most importantly, why do you always wear your hair in those Princess Leia buns?! Just stop. Stop!

Emily figured being out of a leotard would save her from my wrath. Photo: ABC Family

Carter looks like a future turncoat here, no? And who could blame him? Lauren is in orange again, looking like a pumpkin set on fire. Kaylie has black fire consuming her shiny pink body. And Payson has on purple velvet with a matching scrunchie. I’d leave too.

"How come our leos always look so gross?" Photo: ABC Family

Don’t fret Kaylie, for every ugly pink leotard with pink studded thorny vines across your chest, you nail a tough routine. And Lauren for every white stripe across your boob there’s…well…another one that’s neon green?

Payson, what the heck are you wearing? Photo: ABC Family

Sorry Payson, did you think you would get out of this post unscathed? Think again. Yes, Kaylie, get excited (but not too excited because you have a weird tilted star drawn across your torso). Payson, honey. Let’s not do this velvet look again. I hate the almost ying/yang pattern! Stop wearing so much freaking purple! And take off those shorts! She looks so square with those booty shorts on. Only Lauren can rock booty shorts! If you can’t follow the rules Payson just do like Emily and wear regular clothes.

Which leotards do you think are super eek? Which leotards do you love? Tell me in the comments!

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5 Comments

Filed under Let's Ponder, WTH Are They Wearing?!

5 responses to “When Bad Leotards Happen to Good Gymnasts

  1. This post made me laugh so much. I always wonder this about Make it or Break it, especially during the horrendous opening credits sequence. (Can’t they update that by now?) I do like to give poor Emily the benefit of the doubt. She has no real choice when it comes to her leotard options.

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  5. Emily has pretty bad leos but that’s forgivable, Payson should try to wear some color other than purple, Lauren should not be wearing orange EVER, but Kaylie “rocks” a pink leotard pretty well. Let’s Remember that they aren’t walking the runways, they’re flipping through the air : )

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