Why New ‘Gossip Girl’ Needs to be like Old ‘Gossip Girl’

In summer 2009, a promo for Season 3 was released and all GG fans went insane with excitement. Chuck and Blair, who had just become a couple at the end of Season 2, seemed in jeopardy, but enjoying it! Serena was running the streets of Manhattan with no top on! Georgina was making out with Dan Humphrey! Jenny was Queen B! OMFG indeed!

But then something terrible happened: the season started. Gossip Girl wasn’t living up to its expectations for teen drama, sex, and scandal, and the fans were noticing.

One of the early press photos for Gossip Girl, when the crew was all in high school.

Gossip Girl, thought up by Josh Schwartz, the genius behind the O.C. and Chuck, picked up on some of the O.C.’s key story lines: sex, scandal, and rich teens. However, unlike the O.C., this show was naughty, dirty even.

The ads on buses and in teen magazines made it seem downright scandalous. There was Blake Lively with her head thrown back in ecstasy, Chace Crawford nipping at her neck and large white letters that simply read “OMFG”.

One of the first ads for Gossip Girl featuring Blake Lively.

All ads featured the show’s stars during or after sex, their eyes closed, and either “OMFG” or lines from critics condemning the naughty antics of the Upper East-siders. (Perhaps my favorite was “Every Parent’s Nightmare” or “Mind-Blowingly Inappropriate”! What teen wouldn’t watch a show that’s been described like that?!)

The show started with a bang – a reported 3.5 million viewers tuned into the premiere episode. By the end of Season 1, Gossip Girl closed with 3 million viewers and America’s teens had found their new guilty pleasure. Prior to Season 2 Gossip Girl‘s buzz built up. There was just as much drama off-screen as on-screen. (The stars were all dating or living with each other.) The stars became overnight celebrities. And adults and critics continued to hate those dirty little U.E.S. socialites. Of course, this just made it all juicier!

Season 2 started with over 3 million viewers and ended with 2.23 million viewers. This was excusable as Gossip Girl was an internet phenomenon – the show didn’t get too many viewers, but teens watched it online and bought the episodes on iTunes every week.

Yes, GG was the hottest show on earth for two years.

And then Season 3 began. It’s only gotten worst. The show struggles to get more than 2 million viewers. And although it’s been cleared for Season 4 by the CW, GG has been on a long hiatus, for Life Unexpected to premiere.

GG just isn’t what it used to be!

When was the last time we even heard the “gossip girl” blog about some scandal and sign it “xoxo”? How come Chuck Bass is so nice? Why is Blair wearing hideous hats? Who told Serena that she could be a publicist without a college education? And when will Nate learn that he can’t formulate coherent sentences?

Last week, a new GG promo was released, trying to build up hype for the show’s return on Mar. 8. And it worked. But is this just good editing? (After all, the OM3 looked like it would be epic as well, and viewers were so disappointed that E! reported viewers turned away before the final half-hour!) Even with Lady Gaga in the mix, GG failed.

Here’s what GG needs to do: Be it’s old bitchy, dirty, snobby, scandalous self again!

Here are 8 things they can do:

1. Old school Chuck and Blair! They used to be the meanest, harshest, scariest people on the show. Now that they’ve found love they’ve been turned into pathetic, whiny pussycats. LAME! The struggle for them to find romance was the ONLY fun in Season 2. Now the struggle is gone and I’m yawning. Please MAKE THEM BAD AGAIN!

2.Bring Back Gossip Girl. Don’t we all miss the sudden beeping of cell phones in the Oak Room? Or every kid in school pointing and giggling at one of our stars? Of course we do. The show is called “Gossip Girl” for a reason. Why isn’t she blogging on air anymore? If Nate can find time to travel from Columbia to NYU for Dr.Phil chats with the boring Dan Humphrey, surely GG has time to send out a blast about some scandalous behavior. (Guess the problem is there really aren’t many scandals, huh?)

A typical Gossip Girl text, back when she used to actually be part of the show.

3. Stop trying to make Serena the star! We get it, it was really supposed to be all about Serena. But CW, in case you didn’t notice, no one has cared about S ever since she thought she killed a man (great episode!). Blair is your star! Let her shine and get Serena to school. Also, give her clothes that don’t show obscene amounts of cleavage.

4. Stop trying to make Vanessa more relevant! Bloggers agree, most fans don’t understand why Vanessa is even on the show. I understand her role as friend to Dan (and in my mind, infatuated with all three of the Humphreys. Her dream would be OM3 with her, Dan, and Rufus), but she’s not meant to be a major character. Bring on more little-J!

5. Don’t start bringing irrelevant and annoying characters to the show for short stints a la the O.C. One thing the O.C. did that killed me was bring in annoying characters (Johnny, Oliver, anyone?). Why was Hilary Duff there? I thought Lizzie McGuire was over. Don’t do that again.

Blair and Serena fighting! This is the stuff that old Gossip Girl was made of.

6.Frenemies! You tried, dear writers, to bring back some of the fiesty Blair/Serena frenemy fun of Season 1 (remember the field hockey game?) But you failed. It lasted for five minutes and it was really stupid. I want those two at each other’s throats. I’d even settle for another Chuck/Nate fight. Or maybe spice it up with a Dan/Nate or Jenny/Vanessa brawl. Come on! Give gg something to blog about. Cat fight!

7. No one cares about Rufus and Lily. Obviously no one wanted the spinoff about Lily’s life. So please stop pushing them on us. Rufus is no Sandy Cohen. Everytime they take up more than 10 minutes in an episode and there’s no chile or board games involved, I’m simply disgusted.

8. Georgina! Oh how I miss her. She is perhaps the only character more diabolical than Queen Blair. So, bring her back. She had the worst storyline in the beginning of the season. Make her do something really evil. Seduce Chuck! Get little J hooked on drugs! Force Vanessa into some sex tape! Make Serena stop squinting! Anything.

The old dirt on this show was fantastic! GG was about smart, dirty social comentary. It was about high school hierarchy, girls fighting for status, teen sex, teen drug use, and bad parenting. What’s it about now? An unrealistic representation of NYU?

Stop wasting hours of our lives CW. Bring back GG! The REAL GG! Tori Burch is great, but she can’t fix this problem. Nor can Vanessa ‘s lack of panties. Don’t you agree? Do you miss old GG? What would you suggest to the writers? Personally, I want real scandal. So bring it!

xoxo

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4 Comments

Filed under Let's Ponder, Review, Stats and Issues

4 responses to “Why New ‘Gossip Girl’ Needs to be like Old ‘Gossip Girl’

  1. annie

    Thank you so much for finally saying all of the things I was thinking AH. My only addition are:
    I think they need to kill off Vanessa, a la mischa barton. I can’t stand to look at her for another episode.
    Also, stop making little j seem evil for doing the same kinds of things Blair did to be queen. Blair is every girls idol, jenny should be too.

    Also, the only guest star I would like would be a nice zac efron apperance.

  2. Laura

    Agreed on most counts. Chuck and Blair need to get bad again (fingers crossed the Chuck mom thing is a good story line). More gg and less s for sure.Less OM3s if they are going to disappoint (and hduff? Tbanks? Who are these guest stars, recurring or otherwise?). The parent angle needs work unless this hidden brother thing comes out (but has that story line died?). Only thing I disagree with is the comment on vanessa. Loves her!

    P.s. Um did things so downhill after bart’s death or is it just me?

  3. agreed with everything. although number 9 needs to be the vanessa rufus hookup. that’ll make his excessive plaid and LLBean clothes more exciting.

  4. carolinemm

    Everything I was thinking, nicely written down on paper. A sex tape would be awesome! Maybe you need to join the writing team…

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